Friendly Persuasion is the heartwarming tale of a family of Quakers who lived during the Civil War. The film explores such timeless themes as living out your beliefs, the measure of a man, and slapstick comedy involving fowl. All in all, not bad.

But how accurate is the portrayal of the Civil War in this film? The answer: not accurate at all, mainly because the filmmakers overlooked one of the most important events that happened around that time: the famous fight between Zombie Abe Lincoln and Richard Simmons(no need to go into detail, it's in every History book, look it up).
It didn't get nearly enough screen time as it should have. Infact, it didn't get any screen time at all. For this very reason, I believe a Director's Cut of this film is in order, one that puts more focus more on that famous duel between two titans. The complete lack of any mention of this important historical event is enough to take this film down a couple notches for me. Seriously, what was screenwriter Michael Wilson thinking when he chose not to include the Zombie Lincoln vs. Richard Simmons battle(which I shall refer to here on in as simply The Duel)?
The Duel ranks as one of the most important and influential moments in American Histo...NAY, WORLD History. It's right up there with the fall of Babylon, World War I, World War II: World War Harder, Vietnam, Christopher Colombus inventing electricity, Benjamin Franklin getting the first sex-change operation, Californian Prospectors discovering Mountain Dew in the Himalaya Mountains, The Robot Uprising of 2077(ok, it hasn't happened...YET, but you know it will), and the release of Cool Runnings.
Infact....every movie would be made better with the inclusion of The Duel. Seriously, now I can't imagine watching say, Citizen Kane, and NOT wishing for a fight between Honest Dead Abe and Richard Simmons to come out of left field. It should be a required addition to every film, just like color and sound.

Screw you, Hollywood.

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