A New Citizens of Awesome Franchise
The Project of Your Life
Posted by "Pompous" Cometgreen on March 6, 2008 at 8:08 pm
After speaking with local, non-Citizen associates of mine, I am pleased to announce that the Citizens of Awesome will be seeking out retail space in Manhattan for the creation of a hip new restaurant franchise. As Bubba Gump Shrimp co-opted Forrest Gump as its central theme, our chain will be based on There Will Be Blood and the populace's fixation of the 'milkshake scene.'

Here are some preliminary ideas:

  • The restaurant will be adorned with There Will Be Blood memorabilia and related artwork.
  • Every table will be stocked with extra-long straws, so that customers can drink others' milkshakes from accccccrrrrrrrrooooosssssss the room.
  • All of our meat will be tenderized by wooden bowling pins.
  • Orders will only be taken when the customer says, "I [eat/drink] your [food/beverage]!" For example: "I eat your double cheeseburger!"
  • Every hour, on the hour, the staff and customers will work to quell an oil blow-out in the middle of the restaurant.

More details will be provided as they become available!

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